Regardless of whether you use vBulletin, Xenforo, IPB or another forum software, you likely have or will have, forum moderators. So, there will be a number of posts here about moderating your forum.
One thing I cannot stress too much, is not to over-moderate. That is one of the biggest complaints I hear, and its also what allowed me to get started in the forum business.
As a general rule, I prefer not to edit posts or delete threads. I prefer instead, to ask the poster to edit the thread. I’ll send them a PM pointing out what the problem is, and why I think its not good for our forum. I ask them to consider editing the offending portion out themselves.
Notice I said “our forum”. When I communicate with members about a problem, or anything else for that matter, I talk to them as though we are partners in the forum, because I believe the members are what makes a forum great. Also, talking to members like that, makes them willing to help you in keeping the forum civil and helps form and reinforce a sense of community.
You should impress this attitude on your moderators. Counsel moderators who become a little heavy handed.
Here is a little tool I use. I post this video in my staff forum and point out to my mods, that I want them to “be nice”. Its a little corny, but it works I think.